We all have best friends, whether they’re your other half, the group of friends you’ve grown up with through school, those you’ve met at university, or even ones you’ve met through work. We can meet our best friends at any point in our life, and they can come from all walks of life, but at the end of the day we all have that ONE best friend who no one could ever compare to, and mines is my gran, so this is a letter to her.
It’s been an awful and long 11 months without you, life’s not full of the same old laughter and jokes, the programmes we used to watch together have lost their greatness (Jeremy Kyle is boring without our commentary). Passing your house everyday only causes frustration and annoyance that someone else is living their life in the place you called home, making new memories and replacing the marks you left with their own personal touch. It’s your birthday today, you’d have been 87, what an age…I can only hope to live to an age like that and live a life full of love like you did. I can remember the little family party we had for your 86th birthday last year, and although you weren’t feeling up for it as times were hard and your health was really taking a toll on you, you put a face on and smiled your way through the night, just like you always did…you done everything with a smile. I wish I could have your patience and understanding, you suffered more than people do in a lifetime but you put up with it, you fought your way through it the best you could, despite how mentally and physically tiring and draining it was. You’re a prime example of someone with true strength and although the last few months of your life were awful in terms of your health sharply deteriorating, on the other hand they were the best few months spent living with mum and I. I didn’t always deal with the stress of the whole situation well, and a lot of my time was spent buried in my dissertation and sat in the library rather than by your side, which I wish I could change, but all the hard work was for you. My degree was for you, you told me whatever was to happen to you I was to make you proud and I hope I did, I’m sure I did. You’d have loved graduation day, especially the dinner afterwards and the classy black dress I wore (I’m sure you’d have made a few comments about the lengths or how revealing some of the dresses were that were worn that day). I also ended up with two jobs after finishing university, and I know you’d have loved me coming in after work to tell you how my day was working at a Higher Education Institution 5 days a week or about the overly demanding customers I came face to face with when working my weekend job in retail. I hope you know how proud I am of mum for facing the day with a smile even when she doesn’t feel like it because she just longs for you to be back with us. I’m taking her to Dubai in less than 4 weeks for her 50th, the family will be together to celebrate a milestone of a birthday and to comfort one another with it being one year since you sadly left us. So much has happened over these past 11 months and I just wish we could sit down with a cup of tea, digestive biscuits, and just catch up about life. I find it difficult to talk about you to mum as it only ends in tears, but I don’t ever stop talking about you to people in work as I never want anyone to not know how amazing you were. Doing this letter post is a way for me to open up (to the Internet I know, but by the end of this post SO many more people will realise your greatness and just how much you are missed). There’s so many memories I could write down but I want to keep them to myself as they’re special, and something that you and I only share. I miss you more than anything and I hope you’re watching over me proud of the woman I’m turning into, and that I continue to make you proud and make the right life choices. I hope you’re eating as much sweet treats as you like (we all know you loved your cakes), and I hope you’re watching unlimited Only Fools and Horses, Columbo, Come Dine With Me and Four in a Bed, I just wish I was watching them with you. Regardless of who I meet in life, you’ll always be my number one.
Love Holly x