Loss is something that happens to us all in life, whether losing a close friend when a friendship breaks down or through the death of a loved one. It’s inevitable but that doesn’t make it any easier to come to terms with. If you read my Supermarket Flowers post you’ll know that I lost my gran just over 2 months ago now, and with everyone saying time is the best healer, recently I came to think the opposite. After we lost her my dissertation was due around 10 days later, and I had 4 of my final and toughest university exams left to do, so as upset as I was I had to suck it up as best I could and get on with things just so I could get university over and done with. After all, I’ve worked so hard at university over my 4 years of study and the last thing my gran would have wanted was to let it all go down the drain.
You know when you think you’ve been dealing with something but you actually haven’t? Well that’s how I feel. As soon as dissertation and exams were out the way, I started working, and it was only when I wasn’t having to come home and study and had a lot more free time that the death of my gran really started to hit me. Being off work and the house being empty at times with my mum working I find hard to deal with, I’m left on my own to think about everything, reminiscing about when she was here and longing for just one more chat with her. Despite thinking about her daily, some days I feel on top of the world, but other days I can’t stand being alone in the empty house. Some days I can laugh about a memory we shared, and other days it can set me off and I feel inconsolable. I guess that’s what grief does to you.
This is one of the most exciting times of my life, waiting to find out my degree classification, graduating from university and starting a new job, and I am happy and appreciative about it all, but I can’t help but wish I could come home from work and tell my gran about my day, or celebrate my upcoming results at university with her, or spot her in the crowd at my graduation ceremony. I think what I’m trying to get across in this post is that there’s no specific way of dealing with loss, some people will deal with at the time it occurs, but for others it may hit them at the most unexpected time. I can’t tell you how to deal with loss as I’m still trying to figure that out for myself. There are many ways of dealing with hard times like this, whether it be speaking to someone about how you’re feeling, or writing your thoughts down in a little diary, it’s personally up to you and what you feel is most effective in helping you cope with the build-up of emotions. One thing I have to emphasise though is that no matter what, you have to continue living your life and more importantly, make sure you’re living the life you want to. My gran didn’t nurture me into the person I am today and motivate me in every aspect of my life for me to be down in the dumps like I have been recently. By all means cry, if you need to cry then let it out but once you’re tears have ran dry for that week or that day, then go out and make them proud, apply for that job your nerves are holding you back from, tell people you love them, just enjoy life because there’s no resits like you’d get for an exam, you only have ONE chance.
Face the day and whatever life throws at you, and if anything let it motivate you to be the best version of yourself. Take a negative and turn it into a positive, it’s what they would have wanted. What do you find has helped you when dealing with loss?